She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize