And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
