We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
