i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Be still, my beating vagina.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
