And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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