I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I supernannyed him into submission
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
