I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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