But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
