That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
