at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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