Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
