If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
