Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
