I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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