chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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