This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
