pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
