But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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