Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
