Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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