I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
