I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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