In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If I die, sorry about rent.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
