i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Do vagina's smell?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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