well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
