Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
