Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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