Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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