we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
