1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
