I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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