She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
