We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize