If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
