Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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