sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you will always have a special place in my vag
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
