I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i dont even know how to be here
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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