I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
