just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize