The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
that's an acceptable place to lick
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
