Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
