I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
