I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
