So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
