Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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