she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
