smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
