Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
