I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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