Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
